[Lifestyles] Happy Venereal Disease Day!

So today is another Valentine’s Day and I wanted take a moment to give a Valentine Day shout out to all the men out there who are spending the day, masturbating to busty Asian blonds, while others break their backs to impress the one they love. Yeah, as you can guess, I am not a fan of the day. Even when I was in a committed relationship, I made it known not to expect anything from me on this day because I always thought it was stupid to deplete my bank account and destroy my patience just for a pretty smile and 15 minutes of guaranteed sex. Doing special things for the one you love should come every day, sometimes even twice a day, but not on some manmade holiday that is just a gimmick for the greeting card monopoly.

I am going to leave those out there with some damaged pearls of wisdom. If you are going to indulge in your dollies tonight, remember VD also stands for Venereal Disease and it doesn’t take a holiday. Load up on the condoms, KY gel (Eros or Astroglide are much better) and tear the town or your friend for the night… apart. It is not going to be very special when you wake up with the hero ability to pee fire tomorrow morning. As for me, I am going to be relaxing in a nice hot bath watching the 3^rd season of True Blood on my laptop while drinking a glass of Merlot and eating some chicken fingers.

Kenny. 

[A Negro in Black America] AIDS in Black America (Pt. 1): The Awareness Gap

Did you know that February 7^th was Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day? Funny. For some reason, I didn’t know about this day or had forgotten about it. Plus, I doubt that there are many in the African-American community that knows about this day either unless they are infected with the virus of course. It’s not heavily promoted like World AIDS Day, which is on December 1^st, but it is one day that many people should take a moment to reflect on. Since we are no longer in the era where hospitals are filled with the skeletonized figures begging for death, the threat of this diseases is so minimized… almost as if it is on the same playing field as other chronic ailments like diabetes. Medications and images of people like Magic Johnson, who has been living with the virus for many years in the public eye, have giving to the illusion that everything will be okay with just a few pills a day. But let’s be real… New treatment doesn’t mean a solution since there is no money in a cure. Treatment is the ultimate cash cow now isn’t it? But I digress…

Over the last 10 plus years, HIV/AIDS in the Black community has sky rocketed, especially among Black woman, but that doesn’t seem to be headline news.  A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog (for those that followed me for a minute, it was during the Yahoo! 360 days, where social networking blogging was as simple as 1-2-3) concerning an ABC Primetime special which focused on the AIDS pandemic in the Black community. Thanks to Youtube (I posted the playlist onto my tumblr page (itsjustkenny!) for all those that would like to view the program for themselves), I watched the program once again and felt the same way I did back in 2006 when it first premiered. I remember sitting at my aunt’s house in New Jersey with a pen and a pad, taking down pages of notes of what I wanted to express, just to have people barely notice the blog until 2 years later when I reposted it to another social networking site.. The program itself wasn’t ground breaking or revealed anything that wasn’t already known. All it did was highlight five points on how the virus had effect the Black community.

The reasons were:

1. 1.      The government’s ignorance and/or indifference on the toll this disease has done to the Black and Brown communities and the impact of celebrities who raise money for other countries HIV/AIDS relief programs instead places closer to home,
2. 2.      The failure of the government to enact programs that have been proven to decrease the spread of the disease.
3. 3.      The sexual habits of Black men and women.
4. 4.      The “Down Low”, where men engage in homosexual acts but proclaim heterosexuality.
5. 5.      The failure of Black leaders especially those in the highly held Black church, to take a stand concerning HIV/AIDS.

In this Blog I am going to discuss the first 2 of the 5 points. Since the cultural war of the 80’s, when the HIV/AIDS pandemic began, it was seen as only a White Gay Male disease. Many conservatives in congress during that time did not want government funds going to people who in their view were suffering from the effects of their anti-Christian lifestyle choice. In fact many did not want to even acknowledge the problem existed at all. There was a clear failure to see this as it was by President Reagan’s administration at least in the public eye. Silence created more damaged, because it allowed people to become influenced by ignorance, prejudice and misinformation which polarized the topic from progressing even further. While the stigma surrounding the HIV/AIDS may have changed throughout the years, in the Black community it remained the same. It was something that you did not discuss unless you had to and if there was some one that you knew with it then you had to not be around them out of fear. It was just a GAY WHITE DISEASE and the other ways that the virus was spread, like IV drug use, was not as focused on until it was too late.

When the war on drugs took hold in the African American community, pretty much moving a segment of the population from the street and into prisons, many were infected with the virus but did not know it. While I will go into the how prisons have helped in the stigma and spread of the disease at a later date, I will say this… Men who may have contracted the disease through IV drug use are put into an environment where condoms are prohibited but rape and relationships are known to happen, the once release will continue to partake in heterosexual relationships. This allows the virus and other disease to get quickly passed around. Both Bush administrations opposed providing money for programs like needle exchange, which provided clean needles to IV drug users (something that has been successful in other countries) instead of sharing needles with one another because they believed that programs like this would encourage drug use. As we all know, without the funding it could not get off the ground. The Clinton Administration took no action. While many thought he would support such a plan, he had no political capital to spend because of the scandal with Monica Lewinsky. Once again, the idea of funding something that could provide some kind of small solution was put on the backburner. The current Obama Administration has not taken a stand on this matter as well. Maybe because there are a whole host of problems going on with the world today, but with new medical technologies like stem cell research hope is on the horizon.

What the question that should be asked now is whether or not the government will follow suit and see provide the funding for something that is crippling the Black community. In a 2004 vice presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards, Gwen Ifill, asked both men about the government’s role in decreasing the newly infection rates among Black women. While Dick Cheney proclaimed ignorance about the infection rate and provided no real answer but vowed to “look into it” during his next administration, his democrat opponent John Edward did not do any better by talking about what’s going on with the AIDS effort in Africa and China. How that relates to African-Americans in the United States, I have no idea. Flash forward 4 years, during the 2008 presidential elections, in one of the Democrat debates which was moderated by Travis Smiley, every candidate gave impassionate statements about what they plan to do about AIDS in Black America if they were elected. The Republican candidates were never publicly asked or at least I cannot find a video at this moment of any of them talking about it. Besides the reauthorization in 2009 of the Ryan White Care Act by President Obama, there has been nothing really said on the matter concerning HIV/AIDS here in the states.

Aboard is a very different and complicated matter.

I used to hate seeing African-American urban and not so urban celebrities (i.e. Beyonce, P. Diddy, The Oprah, etc…) trot off to Africa to do a concert, hold a few press conferences about what they are doing in the AIDS relief front and be shown walking through a neighborhood with kids running around them. I thought it was asinine. I could not understand why it was so hard for them to do something here as well as Africa. What about a PSA or a foundation to benefit those living with the virus? What about a campaign that talks open and honestly about condoms usage or sexual relationships. Hold town hall meetings about how men and women should be honest about their sexual behavior and get tested together. Talk about how HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death among Black women from the ages of 25-30. Hell, go on high schools, college campuses, rallies and parades and while popping bottles and just say protect yourself.

But the reality is… Things were really F-ed up there in Africa and it continues to be with sparks of success stories here and there. Like how the crack era took a whole generation of parents and children away from their families. The virus and a whole host of disease have done so over there. Generic drugs, proper medical facilities and qualified physicians, all the things that we take for granted here in the states, are sparse. More awareness is needed and the one (and ONLY) thing I used to praise former President Bush about was his handling of the AIDS crisis in Africa, by increasing the funding with The President's Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief (PEPFAR/Emergency Plan) which was a commitment of billions over five years. HOWEVER that is a double edge sword. If you look some African countries like Uganda, ultra conservatives American groups like “The Family” have successfully encourage AIDS stricken countries to drop the platform of condom usage, which was working to promote an “abstinent only” policy dealing with the threat of the disease and as a provision that 20 percent of the funding from PEPFAR must go to abstinent only programs. Powerful Evangelicals pastors have used their influence to encouraged government officials to be move to more of a faith base government. Our tax dollars are pushing this agenda, but it seems like no one is either admitting it or what us to know about it and current programs here in the states that those with the virus rely on are either underutilized, underfunded or unappreciated.

In the continuing global fight against HIV/AIDS, the world is forgetting about what is going on on the home front. HIV/AIDS is still infecting our communities and killing a new generation without the same outcry that came from the 80’s. With a disease continually on the rise, what can we do as a community to get our government’s attention…

Speak out!

Kenny.

[My Life] Morning Blaze.

The sound of helicopters was the first clue that something was wrong. It took me awhile to finally get some sleep and once I began to drift, the roaring sounds of helicopter broke the silence of the room. At first I ignored it, thinking it was just the police doing some kind of search or sweep or SOMETHING and it should just go away in a few minutes. After 5 more minutes when the noise didn’t go away, but get more intense as if it was right overhead, I walked over to my bedroom window which looks Kings Highway. As the sky was preparing for the new morning, it painted a rose canvas for the helicopters to glided over gray streams of smoke. Shit, I muttered. What the hell is going on now? The sounds of emergency vehicles came next, followed by the image of number of police cars and ambulances moving recklessly through traffic. Looking over my cluttered desk for my cigarettes, I came to the realization that had none left. Cursing as I grabbed some jeans from off the floor, I was hoping that the deli where I got my cigarettes from at a discount (10 dollars a pack while others in the area charge around 12 dollars) was open even through it wasn’t 6 a.m. yet. Even as I sleepily moved around my bedroom for clothes, more and more sirens can be heard outside. Kimmiko, my cat made her way into my room

Within the span of 10 minutes from first hearing the helicopters, I was out the door. The moment the hit the street, the blistering cold gripped me. I zipped up my jacket even further in hopes that it would provide more warmth. As I turned onto my block from my building entrance way a oceans of red and white light stood before me just on the other side of Kings Highway. Cop cars and emergency vehicles blocked off the area from the growing traffic. Curiosity was getting the best of me. I wanted to know what was going on.  

Since the Deli was on my block, I went there first. Surprisingly there were several people in line already playing lottery numbers. First this woman, dressed in some sweats, thin jacket and hair wrap called off her numbers, that I nonchalantly mentally saved in my own mind for later, then this Crip, I knew growing up shouted his numbers to the Arabian behind the counter joking with him at the same time “An OG told me I should write my numbers down instead of saying them, nahmean…” he told him. The guy just nodded and gave a polite laugh. I paid no attention to the dialogue, wanting to get the hell out of there before he asked me for change again. As the Crip was getting himself together, going through the shelves for some goodies, the Arabian guy came over to me and I asked for the cigarettes and a large cup of coffee. “Light and sweet, 8 sugars” I told him. He gave double take, as if he has never heard me order coffee like this before even though I am there almost every other morning. “Are you sure?” he asked in a heavy accent. I just nodded. He turned to the coffee maker saying something in Arabic then turned back and handed me my cup. I thanked him and exited the store.

While the sky was bright and sunny, the area before was draped in fog. As I approached the scene, the smell caught me off guard. I am not a fan of fires, especially since my grandmother’s accident. Seeing someone you love ablaze, burns itself in your memories for a lifetime. Shortly after my grandmother’s accident, there was an explosion in the building across the street from my house. The smell of the explosion lingered for days and as I got closer the smell triggered old memories that really wanted me to turn back, but only a few feet away, I ignored those feelings those feeling and continued on.

There must’ve been over 100 Firefighters and at least 25 fire trucks in the front of the NYCHA apartment building. Ladders were still extended to the roof and smoke was making its way from the top floors. At a safe distance across the street, I watched as EMT workers looked after some fire fighters in an ambulance and others that had collapsed on the pavement. As I started to take some snap shots of the area with my camera phone, this guy starting talking the head off of anyone around telling them what happen and how he got photos of it all. Children in groups or with their parent started to make their way to the JHS and elementary school up the block, passing the depressing scene. Some stopped and watched, while other hurried along. A man with son stop next to me, and asked what happen. I told him there was a fire and he began to laugh. “Housing is going to finally get in trouble over those damn boilers” he said as he held his son hand “Finally going to find to put that shit in the building”. That is when I finally remembered this place. For the last 4 or 5 years, the boilers have been outside these building managed by the NYCHA and they received a lot of negative press about it (LINK) last year. When I used to make my daily walks to Canarsie to see my grandmother in the nursing home, I would pass by these monsters hoping that nothing would spill out on me.

Suddenly, my hand began to swell and my fingers started to turn a pinkish purple. That’s when I knew it was time to head back home to warm up. I stopped at the deli once more and got a second cup. The Arabian was sweet talking to a girl who had dressed similar to the woman I had seen when I came in the first time. She was giggling while holding on to a loosie he handed her as I walked in.

“You’re back so soon” He said.

“Yeah…” I answered slightly laughing. “I went to see what was going on down the street”

“Oh yeah the fire… Is it out?”

“Yeah… but it’s a big scene”

“Where is it?” The girl asked.

“Over by the NYCHA buildings a block up” I told her gesturing as if the builds were right in front of us.

            “Oh you mean, by the Castle?” she asked, with a horrid expression.

Now the “Castle” was part apartment complex, part halfway shelter, part drug den and exactly across the highway from the deli. Both the Arabian guy and I gave her side eye glance.

            “Not the building across the street, the one with the boilers outside.”

“OOOHHHH!!!” she said.

So I made my way back home, dodging the kids that were getting off their school bus and running into the Charter school on my block and other adults that were making their way to where they had to be today. As I turned the key into the lock of my apartment door, I thought that this was an interesting way to start the day.

Kenny.

[My Life] 30-Something

So last Monday, I officially hit a milestone, by turning the ripe age of 30 and I couldn’t be happier. I know it’s rare for someone to say that out right about getting older, but after the last couple of years of sorrow and misfortune, I really needed something to celebrate. As I begin the 3^rd decade of my life (Well next year when I turn 31, that officially starts off the next decade, but hey humor me for a second), I find myself reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned thus far. Last year alone, I learned that there are people who I might have absolutely nothing in common with, can be the best of friends, while the people I might have the most in common with can become the fiercest of enemies.  Imagine the movies “Mean Girls”, “Boyz in the ‘Hood”, “Cruel Intentions” and “The Player’s Club” had a bastard child and THAT would be my 2010. Yeah…

Right now, I look at the world around me in amazement. I’ve lived through 2 wars (ironically the conflict has been with the same country), several national tragedies with the most heartbreaking being 9/11, the election of this country’s first President of color (I honestly do not believe President Obama was the first, but it’s not like he can deny it or “pass” like other presidents were able too but that is neither here or there) and the Age of technology which has transformed every aspect of America. I know that this is just the beginning and over the years I hope to experience much more.

Moving forward, I know I have to let certain painful imagery, actions and events stay in my past. I can not move on if I am still wondering why this happened or what could I have done to change this event when in the grand scheme of things, it’s is done and over with. I wasn’t prom king, wasn’t a guest on the “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” or in a porn movie with Paris Hilton and my life still turned out okay. As my future is not yet determine. I have to be more determine to go down that road to get to a level that I want to get to which I know will be hard and rewarding in the end.

When I was younger I thought by this age, I would have a whole lot of things accomplished, but reality and idealism often clashed with one another. I have these goals like that I started to focus more on like:

• ·         Being more active in saving funds.
• ·         Working out 3 times a week.
• ·         Yearly check for any form of cancer (since it runs on my father side of my bloodline)
• ·         Going back to school for a higher education and working towards my BSW.
• ·         Opening an IRA.
• ·         Investing in a stock portfolio.
• ·         Making sure that one other person, either my best friend or one of my brothers, has a medical proxy for me just in case my mother is unable for any reason to any make medical decisions on my behalf.

As time goes on, there will be more goals for me to develop and mature, but I learned that in order for me to succeed, not only  do I have to plan well, but I have to make sure that each decision I make will be in my best interests.

Here’s to another year and another milestone with more to come!

Kenny.

[Lifestyles] Sickness at the Gate

Last year was crazy, painful and rewarding for me and when I was laid off in September, I thought I would take the time to evaluate my life while I was able to get unemployment. However most of that time, all the stress I had built up by over working myself those last few months had caught up with me and I spent most of October sick as a dog in bed. It was so bad that I had to go to the Emergency Room twice, because I could not take the pain. While waiting at Kings County Hospital, my main concern was not only the pain, but how I was going to pay for the visits. At the time, I was trying to get my unemployment cleared and I was no longer receiving any new checks from my previous employment so I only had a certain amount in my bank accounts to pay for things like rent, food and other bills. An ER visit was not in the budget to say the least.

In 2009, when I was in and out the hospital dealing with results of my grandmother accident, I would watch on the news about these town hall meetings where people would come out about health care reform, dubbing it “OBAMACARE” and how it was this total government takeover of our lives. You saw one political party pull out all the stops, and succeed might I add, to cause havoc concerning what healthcare reform could really mean to the populace. Even with the topic of “Death Panels” and “Pulling the plug on Grandma”, my mother and I had to make real decisions on the life of someone we loved dearly and did not want to see in pain, had to watch these people make a mockery of what we and millions of people were going through at that moment. I was disappointed with the Democrats constantly trying to appease the Republicans at every turn to only gain no votes and the disappearance of the public option further enhance my grievance. When I hear Republicans and Tea Party backed politicians say they speak for the “will” of the people, who are they speaking about, really? Not me I know that for sure. But atlas, by gones are by gones and crying over spilled milk doesn’t save the world. Just like the rest of the country, I had to move on. In the last two months I’ve had several doors shut in my face because my current income has me at a level where I am too poor to afford For-Profit health insurance like HIP, with the co-payments and premiums, BUT too rich to receive Medicaid. You see, when I started my old job last year, I just started to receive Medicaid and after my first check, it was discontinued because I made way more than allotted, which was fine, but kind of put me out there with no insurance. Of course I didn’t think about it while I was working. I was trying to get myself out of debt and make sure that my mother and I had a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and light to switch on when either one of us enter a room… and that I did.

So currently, I go to a hospital clinic on a sliding scale. The co-payments are within my budget restraints for the moment, but there are some good and bad points to it. The good part is I get to see a doctor, however whenever I am there, it reminds me of the days where I had to take my grandmother to the clinic and spend hours upon hours waiting to be seen for 5 minutes and given another appointment to do it all again the next month. The waiting room would always be filled with people who were either elderly, mentally or physically disabled people with their handlers and children running amuck. There were times I had to put a few people in check because they had gotten way to close to my grandmother while making a scene… and when you add the mixture of impatience, frustration and mentally disturbed people in a closed environment, only brings forth the ugliest in some people. Now, when I sit in the clinic alone, avoiding eye contact with the crazy ass people crowding the area, I wonder how many other people are in my situation. Waiting for a doctor, well let’s keep it real, an intern who can’t say your name right even if it was tattooed on your forehead, see you for a few minutes to inform you that your test results are not back yet and they still don’t know what is wrong. Hell, how many people are out there who cannot even afford a sliding scale and have no way of acquiring any kind of coverage. But that is another story altogether…

A few days ago I ran across this video on Youtube of a People Court case where a woman was suing a eye glass place in Canarsie, Brooklyn. Here’s the case:

I was SOOO mad after watching this video, because while I have been struggling debating on whether or not I can afford to go to the doctor, this woman was buying name brand non-prescription sunglasses like D&G, while receiving Medicaid and because I make 100 dollars over the cap with unemployment, I get nasty looks like I am trying to rob the system! I would like to hear more people talk about Medicaid reform instead of the total useless repeal efforts of legislation. What’s done is done. When the opportunity to enhance reform came about, there was nothing but bitterness, lies and miscommunication being tossed around.

On the news when I see reports of people cheating Medicaid of thousands, sometimes millions, but I hear either nothing or very little about what procedures are going to implemented to ensure that it would not happen again. Maybe, just maybe we should ask our congress representatives to look at what is on the table now and put forth improvements and correct any loop holes that may occur. There comes a point where people need to come together and really iron out there difference to really enhance the lives of the people of this country. With unemployment still high, political tension boiling over and a struggling economy still on the rebound… there comes to a point where we have to say enough is enough let’s get it together…

Kenny.